Military spouse grant available for online courses! Find out if youqualify!

✨✨Attention Military Spouses ✨✨
You may be eligible to attend online courses at NO cost to you! Don't let it go to waste or wait until you are no longer eligible! Find out If you qualify! I was able to use this grant which is a $4,000 grant for online courses. This grant is for spouses of active duty, deployed or service members on title 10 orders. Spouse must be within following ranks: e1-e5, o1-o2 or w1-w2. Use this benefit before its too late or you no longer qualify. Courses are done at your own pace and are completely portable. This is great to stay busy during deployments or to do something positive for yourself. We will get you all set up and enrolled! Don't delay!
For any questions or to get started fill out the form here:http://referral.careerstep.com/ref54141

 www.facebook.com/militaryspousecareers

 We look forward to assisting you!

Request Info now! 


#milspouse #deployment  #militaryspouse #deploymentideas #onlinecourses #mycaa #blogger #milso #usmcwifey #armywifey #navywife #armyfiance #usmcwife #airforcewife #navyfiance

Tips for a successful R&R

Aren't those days exciting the closer and closer it gets to spending a small amount of time with your honey; for your "break" during their deployment? It's not much of a break; but to us it means the world. Being a military spouse is one of the hardest jobs I believe; we look forward to things like this so much...we are used to sleeping alone and getting quick 5 minute phone calls. We cringe everytime there's a knock at the door; the mail man is our best friend...but before I start rambling I'd like to share my tips on how to make the best out of your significant other's R&R! First; don't be upset if he uses a lot of the time to catch up on rest. More than likely he's traveled a ton to get back to you and remember...they work 16 hour days most of the time...they don't have "weekends." Respect this is their break time and they may want to use it to catch up on a ton of rest; they work very hard. I know we probably sit at home or have normal jobs while they put their lives on the line...but your soldier deserves some rest too! It does not mean he/she loves you any less.

* Schedule a photoshoot! Oplove.org is a wonderful organization that does free photoshoots for military; I believe they must be active duty; but take advantage of this. Memories are very important and you can use the photos for your home, for photo albums, facebook, holiday cards and more. My then fiance and I did these a few days before we got married and they mean a lot to me...someone took the time to give us free photos and of course I get to look at them whenever I'm lonely!

*Do a couple's massage...spoil your soldier. They work hard for us. This also falls under the super romantic category.

*If you live together; decorate for his arrival...if you are meeting him at a hotel; you can still decorate the hotel. This is wonderful company in which you can get free welcome home banners custom made for your soldier; you just pay for the shipping. http://www.buildasign.com/Troops      Not sure how long that great deal will last; but you can also use vistaprints.com banners; they are affordable...or you can make your own. Something that says Welcome Home or just anything you wish to put to show your soldier you are excited they are home for even a short amount of time...until the next "see you later." Maybe add a cake, his fave food waiting on him and balloons. You do not have to go all out; but just a little something will be fun, don't forget to add a card!

* A counseling session....even if you have the most perfect relationship; I think this is an amazing thing to do for yourselves. This will help you just release emotions and communicate! Also; going to church will be something very nice to do; to just have a spiritual bond with your partner. If you are not religious; still consider the counseling session to just work on maintaining healthy emotions and communication for the rest of your relationship and/or deployment

* Create a memory! What have you all never done together? Have you never went to a certain aquarium you've always thought about visiting? Ever rode a hot air balloon? How about rock climbing? Whatever it may be; why not do something new together! Make the most out of it!

* Plan at least one family night and one friends night! Fun things to do are dinners, amusement parks,etc.   Remember there are other people missing your soldier as well! Share your soldier with other people who love and support him.

* What are his favorite colors? Get some super sexy lingerie in the color for the occassion? Have a video camera? Don't be shy...use it!

* Do nor argue! Sure; your soldier may just irritate or annoy you in the little time he's back home for a bit; but do not sweat the small stuff during this time...you will regret it as soon as he's gone again.

* There's life besides you...what does this mean? Do not become angry if he does use some time for his/her friends and you may just feel left out. Why? The wives are the ones alone....for months and months...sometimes with the kids...we lose our minds a few times...we wait and wait for these day...and they want to not spend all their time with us? Yeah; it bites. But realize it's not healthy for your soldier to only consume their lives with you; allow them to spend time with friends or even if it's on that annoying Xbox of theirs. Don't feel left out if they use some time for themselves...

* Do not spend all of your time with everyone else...what do I mean by this? Save some alone time. Do not think that your family member's have to be around nonstop; or your soldier's family member and friends have to be around 24/7. Sure; they miss him too and he misses them...but it's the two of you who have suffered enough; do not spend all of your time with everyone else. That may be hard for them to understand; especially their family but the couple should come first; especially when you are married. Save a few nights to do family outings; maybe a dinner or game night...then maybe have a night where you get all the friends together for a night on the town. Save the first and last night just for you two at least! I had a friend that hung out with me and my then; boyfriend...now husband; a night before one of his trainings for his deployment and I always regret it. I cherish every day we get together and I feel like I would have rather just had that night for just the two of us. He was gone for two months and we should've had more alone time. Lessons learned :)

Pre-Deployment Checklist

Here is a large deployment checklist; however during my husband's deployment all i've ever needed was a POA (power of attorney), a copy of his orders, his social security number, his address of where he would be and my military ID. Many places would ask for his social; such as when I went to use TriCare and so on. Make sure you have all of the above AT LEAST; because you never know when you may need it for bills or emergencies. I also suggest having his Family Readiness Group's information on hand in case you'd like to be involved in the meetings or annoucements they may have. Most will even have an online group such as on facebook or twitter you can stay involved in. Many FRG's are amazing support systems when your loved one is deployed and the best thing abut these groups; are they are not limited to just spouses in most cases, you will find parents, grandparents in more. Not all FRG's are very active; but you want to have their information on hand just in case you have a question and can not get in touch with your deployed spouse or significant other. Keep in mind you may not hear from him/her for days or weeks in some cases so you want to be prepared. This is a very extensive check list but better safe than sorry and you can take care of  little as a time before deployment actually starts. It seems like everything that went wrong; went wrong while my husband has been away, such as things with my car or at the apartments I lived in. One day the air conditioner stopped working; my battery went dead in my car...you never get a break in some cases :)

Family Checklist For Deployment

1. Do you know your Ombudsman's/FRG Leaders name and phone number?

2. Do you know your spouse's Social Security number?

3. Are you and your children registered in DEERS?

4. Is the emergency data page in his/her service record current and correct?

5. Is your ID card about to expire? Have you arranged for paperwork for an ID card for any child who will turn 10 years of age before the service member's return?

6. Do you understand the use of medical facilities and TRICARE.

7. Do you understand what the Ombudsman, FRG Leader, Fleet and Family Support Center, Red Cross, Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society and Chaplains can do for you and how and when to contact them?

8. Do you have emergency contact numbers posted for quick reference?

9. Have children been included in discussion on where the parent is going, when he/she is coming home and why he/she is leaving?

10. Have you reached an agreementon frequency of letter writing or communication? Do you know your spouse's complete deployed address or email address?

11. Do you, your parents and your in-laws know how to reach you and your spouse in case of an emergency?

12. Have you discussed your feelings on the deployment and your spouse's return?

13. Have you discussed your spouse's feelings on the deployment and his/her return?

14. Have you prepared a comprehensive budget and have you agreed on how much each will spend?

15. Do you have an adequate allotment? Will it cover rent, utilities, grocery needs, bills and other expenditures?

16. Are checking and savings accounts in good order?

17. Are plans made for filing taxes?

18. Have you discussed a power of attorney? Do you need a special power of attorney to sign his/her name on income tax documents or to cash a return check? (Some banks won't cash a government check without a special power of attorney-a general power of attorney won't always do.)

19. Have you and your spouse made wills? Are they kept in a convenient place?

20. Do you know the process for moving your household goods?

21. Are instructions clear on pending family business? Are potential problems identified and potential solutions agreed upon?

22. Do you know where important family documents are?

23. Are insurance policies up to date and safeguarded?

24. Have you given your home a security checkup? Do all windows lock? Do the windows open or are they painted shut? What about door locks? Have you secured the outside buildings? Do you know the combunations or have the keys for those locks? Do you have a spare set of keys for all of your locks? 

25. Do you have and know how to test a smoke/CO2 detector? Do you have and know how to operate a fire extinguisher? Is it charged and up to date?

26. Do you know what to do or who to call if something in your home breaks? (Furnace, air conditioner, heater, hot water heater, kitchen appliances, washer and dryer, plumbing.)

27. Do you know where the fuse box or circuit breakers are and ho to change or reset them?

28. Do you know where your water main shut-off valve is located?

29. Has the car's maintenance been discussed? Who will you take it to for repairs?

30. Are auto inspections up to date or instructions left for updating them?

31. Is the base vehicle decal up to date? How about your vehicle(s) registration?

32. If the service member has a separate vehicle, look into lowering insurance premiums.

33. Do you know about your command's spouse support program?

"A Letter From A Soldier"

"A Letter From A Soldier"
Author: Jared Batchelor

I fight for you everyday
For your safety and freedom far, far away
Everyday I fear that it may be my last
Looking at what was important to me in the past

I choose this life, to fight
For your freedom, your eternal right
It gets lonely out in this far distant land
I have nothing but my gun and boots full of sand

I pray to Jesus each and every night
That he may shield me from this next fight
I live each day with fear of death
I never know when it will be my last breath

"Lets Move Out" says my captain
Always worried about what will happen
I get my gear and my gun
I ask myself "How much more, before this is done?"

Bullets and RPG's zooming past my head
I cant help but fear soon I will be dead
Each and every second of life i cherish
Because I never know when I will perish

A sound of gun shots all around
Bodies of young soldiers is all to be found
Bombs shattering the buildings apart
Mirror the pieces that are also my heart

Every dying soldier causes me to tremble
All the soldiers will start to assemble
The greatest gift I can give
Is to lay down my life so someone else may live

All those young men who did not come home
Also left their family and children all alone
I'm here safe and sound
Now with my family on my own ground

I pray for my fellow soldiers everyday
I ask the lord to reward them for what they had to pay
Show mercy to all those who fell
"lord, they have served their time in hell"

I write this letter to you and to all
To tell you about myself and those who answered the call
Together we will get it done, we America....
Are an army of one.

What to send in care packages...My ideas

I see a lot of ladies ask about what are good things to send in care packages, I find the only fun thing about deployment is making the packages. Keep in mind I am not a craft person by any means; if you need me to make a custom care package for you; let me know and I can. What are some neat things to send? I say basically anything non-perishable and anything that will not melt. Do not send foods and toiletries in the same box; especially in the hot weather and always make sure you fill out a customs form at the USPS, I've learned the hard way. Go to the USPS to send your packages; and use the priority shipping flat rate boxes; they will get there faster and are so much cheaper than regular boxes; you can even get them free at the USPS website; as many as you need.

What to send?
Beef Jerky
Gummi Bears
Tic Tacs or altoids- do not send stick gum, it will melt
Chips
Dip that is nonperishable or salsa in a jar
Pop Tarts
Granola Bars


Non-Food items---make sure you put it in a zip lock bags so it doesn't leak
Baby Wipes
Body Spray
Cigarettes if your soldier smokes
A fan because they're usually very expensive to buy where they are; they know the soldiers want them so will skyrocket the price


Again; a lot of these items can be bought where they are; but it's usually cheaper for me to send them versus him buying them there I hear.

A good idea is to go to a place like Walgreens and buy things on the shelves because they're nonperishable and easy to pack and ship :) I think it's need to add fun stuff in care packages as well such as photos, little games, a letter or something of yours he can hold onto there like maybe something with your scent on it or spray your perfume on your fave tshirt he loves to see you in :)

Another cool idea is to keep a journal and take turns writing in it. Maybe every 2 weeks switch off with your soldier and when it's your weeks; write it it as often as possible; then send it back for him to do the same. It will let him know your thoughts and days. If you have children and want your solider to know what your days are like; keep a wall calendar or tear-off calendar, anything easy to fold and send...write your activties on there such as "Jennys soccer practice" or "Marys Dr appointment."  Little things like that will really help your soldier feel apart of your lives or know everything that goes on. I know when we get those phone calls we are usually so excited and often forget to let them know about the details in our days. This is a good way to stay connected.

Great Military Spouse groups, websites and forums

I would like to share fabulous online military spouse groups that I've been so fortunate to be apart of. It is so nice to feel like you are not alone and we have so much fun discussing the pros and cons of military life, deployment, our soldiers and more. The groups are great and have really given me some light on many things; it is nice to meet other ladies; even if they are stationed in Germany or I find out they're local. Thank gosh for the internet! Here are some great military groups, forms and websites dedicated for the spouses; and some for the girlfriends or fiances :)


http://www.milspouse.com/     *This one is fab because they have a newsletter that I get via email approximately weekly, a forum that is somewhat active...but best of all a military spouse magazine; which is super cool because you can get it online if you're a "green gal" or you can get it via mail, of course. Really neat to know there's a magazine dedicated to us "mil spouses." One of my favorite features it Brittany Barlow's deployment diaries; I've talked to her on twitter and facebook; and thanked her so much for those weekly videos she makes, she is such a doll! Really nice to know she dedicates her time to give us some ideas, tips and comfort during deployments.

http://www.militaryspousesupport.net/     

http://www.militarysos.com/

http://cinchouse.com/Hubs/tabid/90/Default.aspx

http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2010/12/online-groups-for-military-spouses.html

https://www.militaryonesource.com/    Oldie but goodie - More of a "resource" site in my opinion.

The questions I get so much

"Oh, I just could never do what you do," "Do you miss him?" "What do you do while he's away that long,"  Some of the various questions I hate and I'm sure many other military spouses can relate. To us; this could be ignorant and even annoying questions to us. I always said I could never do this either; but it is his job, and he's not just out on vacation. He is doing something very courageous and honorable; so how could I not date, marry or love someone just because of his job. The army is really a way of life; and I do not find anything negative about what he's doing. I thought I could never do this either; but you would be surprise how strong you truly are when you have to be.  I was even asked by a very educated woman if I miss him two months ago. Wow. Of course I miss him; just like any girl would probably miss her spouse if they were gone a few days for a company trip or so..think of that; then times it by 20. That is how I feel. Not only do I have to worry about his safety, I think of the other families all over; and not just in the area he's at. I wonder what's next? Everytime I hear a knock at the door; I get paranoid thinking it's a chaplain or someone with bad news. Everytime I even go take a shower; I'm carrying my phone with me into the room in case he calls; I'd be miserable if I missed that call. And finally; what do I do while he's away. I take my husband's advice and live my life how I normally would...I hang out with friends as much as I can. I work from home with a wonderful company that can keep me busy if I let it ( I get to choose my own hours) and of course; I spend a lot of time writing him e-mails or just finding myself if that is what you'd like to call it. I dream about the future; I try to get out the house as much as possible and honestly; going places just is not as fun without him. Sometimes I even feel guilty because people may judge and think it's not very classy to go out with my girlfriends while my husband is deployed. I guess they think I should sit at home and cry. I do not go out much; but maybe once a week; even if it's just a friend's home. I think spouses really do need their friends a lot during times like this; especially when you are alone. I also have hobbies; such as modeling and working events or promotions as they come up. I do not feel like myself honestly without him here; but I do my best and that is all I can do honestly. There are good days and then there are those bad days which I have more of when I do not even want to get out of bed and I think about how much I hate this deployment stuff and how there must be a way they would not have to be away so long. Sometimes I even get dark thoughts like what would I do if something horrible happens or if that last time I kissed him or hugged him was the last time...but then I have to stop myself and realize that I'm being negative and there is no point in worrying; it will just prolong stress. I have to block out the bad stuff; and I think that is the whole moral of this story. Sure; this is hard and of course I miss him...yes I would much rather see him daily or be close to him all the time; but I play the cards I'm dealt and I'm very new to this lifestyle; it never gets easier but you learn how to cope and you really do learn what works for you in order to help you be as "normal" as you can be. It really is something you learn to live with; and you also learn to be strong, because that is your only choice.Me telling myself everyday I can not do this will not bring him home from this deployment faster; and honestly this has had pros just like cons...I've learned to be more independant and of course I've learned I'm so much stronger than I ever though :) Just what is on my mind today.

You don't know me (deployment poem)

You don't know, but I'm the girl who cries every night, and hopes every morning for his safe return.
I'm the girl who drags herself out of bed every morning so that he will be proud of her when he comes home.
I'm the girl who lies in bed longing for him to be lying next to me.
You don't know, but I'm the girl with a million things to say, but not one will come out without the thought of him.

I'm the girl who stops and stares and wishes for him to return soon each and every time another man in uniform walks by.
What you don't know is that I know love on an entirely different level from most.
I know the love that spans time and space; that love that most people are constantly searching for.
I'm one of the girls who waits months for a single kiss; a kiss that will make the months apart worth every second.
A kiss where everything in the world stops and for what seems like eternity, you can see into that person's soul and know that without them, life is not worth living.

You tell me I don't even understand what love is, I tell you, I know more love in one homecoming, than most know in a life time.
You don't know that every time he leaves, part of me goes with him and part of him stays with me.
You tell me that people change and I tell you, true love will always remain constant and steady.
You tell me you know how I feel and that you understand what I'm going through; you have no idea.
What you don't realize is that I understand the true meaning of not only love, but of longing and anticipation.
You don't see, but I'm one of the few who gets goose bumps as my heart fills with pride every time the National Anthem is played.
I'm one of the girls who will stand tall and stay strong on the outside, but be dying on the inside.

I am one of those girls who will make friends with complete strangers for only they can even begin to understand what I am going through.
You don't understand that I picture his face everywhere I go and that he is with me in everything I do.
You think I don't cry anymore, that I have gotten over it, but what you don't know is that I just hide it better.
You don't know the feeling the first time you hear the word deployment or the feeling of his hands as it slides out of yours for what could be the last time.
You don't know what that last hug or kiss means and how important that goodbye truly is.

I'm the girl you see walking by with a disheartened face staring silently at the ground.
What you don't know is, that I know true love and that no matter what obstacles we have to face, our love will live forever, that only we know.
You tell me that you support the troops; I tell you, I'm in love with one.
I'm one of the silent, but outgoing; weak, but strong; scared, but grateful.
What you don't see is that without me, he is nothing and without him, I am nothing.
I'm one of those girls; the girl who stands tall behind her Sailor, stands proud behind her Hero, stands strong behind her man, watching silently as he serves and defends our country.


--Author Unknown

You know you're dealing with a deployment when...

* You get nervous every time you hear the phone ring or a knock at the door

* You sleep with your cell phone on your pillow.

* The postal clerk knows you by name.

* You buy beef jerky every time you go to the grocery store.

* You check your email every 5 minutes, even in the middle of the night.

* You have enough priority boxes, packing tape and customs forms for his entire unit.

* You have a ton of friends with deployed soldiers you've never actually met because they're all online.

A blog this day while he is away...

Today I really miss my husband; a lot. I miss seeing him or little things like just going to lunch together. I miss all the annoying things he does like when he pays more attention to the tv show he's watching then when I'm talking to him at the same time :) ; or when I want it quiet and he like music on all the time. I miss a lot of things about him that he probably does not even notice about himself. I hate him being away but I guess life is not fair and at least he's doing something amazing and something very important. I know I am not alone either; I've met other fantastic ladies who are dealing with the same things or who have mastered the same things. I really think this deployment has taught me patience I never knew I had. I can't believe i've seen him about a week this entire year and it's almost my birthday soon...in about 4 weeks and I won't have him. He didn't have anyone on his birthday being overseas either;so I know it is a lot harder for him being there in a desert without family but I think maybe it will make us appreciate the time we do finally have together; once we are back together. It is weird hearing some girls complain about their boyfriends being gone for a weekend or week for business or such...I feel like saying wow, try them being gone for a year. But I know they just do not understand. And I understand everyone's life and circumstances are different for sure. Plus; I knew what I was getting myself into and I do not mind one bit. Deployment will not last for ever and I'm keeping my faith and one day we will be together again. Sometimes I wonder if things will be better when he's back; like he was never gone or if it will be a fresh new start that I would not mind either. As long as I am with him; it does not matter to me one bit. Sometimes I feel really selfish ever mentioning to him my problems or what is going on my life that's not perfect because I know he has a lot more stress and much bigger things to worry about. I've been 100% guilty of doing that this deployment, but I am young and new to this so I have realized that is not okay. When I talk to him for now on, it will only be about positive. I want to be the one phone call he can look forward to. My problems shouldn't matter when I should be his support system during this difficult time. I think attitude makes a huge difference. I have heard horror stories of deployment tearing lives and families apart and I don't wan to be that scenario at all. I know every relationship has its ups and downs but I want to be the best wife I can be and I know I still have a lot more to learn and a lot more to accomplish for myself so we can build a healthy, happy life together. I'm going to look on the bright side; because it could always be worse and I will feel so proud of him and myself when we get to finally see each other on the home coming day. I know everyday I'm filled with many different emotions from is he okay or if he's thinking about me...or what will we do when he is back or how will things be when he is back...but worrying is a sin in my eyes and I think whatever is meant to be; will be. I know many other ladies have had the same worries and I am not alone. I am going to be a better support system for him and be as indepedant as I can so he can trust that I will be fine while he's doing something honorable far away. I don't want to stress anyone out; especially him and I think things like that can really save relationships during deployments. This is our very first deployment and we have never even had a honey moon yet or a real bonding experience or relationship with all of this going on but it gives me something to look forward to every morning I wake up because it's a new day and a new day means one day closer to seeing him in person and I've had a lot of fun when I'd make him packages or get all dressed up just for a skype video chat with him. These are not the memories I planned but they are still our memories and I think it's an ultimate sacrifice to wait on someone and hope they still want you when they're back after a life-changing experience or waiting on them and hoping they'd do the same for you. A lot of people say love just is not enough but I think it truly is. I have never loved someone so much and I can't wait to be with him again.