Military spouses; you can attend online classes FREE

✨✨Attention Military Spouses ✨✨
You may be eligible to attend online courses at NO cost to you! Don't let it go to waste or wait until you are no longer eligible! Find out If you qualify! I was able to use this grant which is a $4,000 grant for online courses. This grant is for spouses of active duty, deployed or service members on title 10 orders. Spouse must be within following ranks: e1-e5, o1-o2 or w1-w2. Use this benefit before its too late or you no longer qualify. Courses are done at your own pace and are completely portable. This is great to stay busy during deployments or to do something positive for yourself. We will get you all set up and enrolled! Don't delay!
For any questions or to get started fill out the form here:http://referral.careerstep.com/ref54141

Tips to get through a deployment

...Don't you hate when someone says "Oh; the time will go by so fast," or "A year deployment will be over before you know it..."  And it's always from non-military spouses/gfs. I totally understand they are only trying to give you some comfort and maybe do not know the right words to say. That is totally fine; it's hard to ever understand unless you live through it. I will be honest and say I do not think the time goes by fast...it seems to go by even slower the better you and your soldier are getting along because it makes you miss each other more. It seems like everything that can go wrong will when he's away...you take your phone to the bathroom with you; because the one time you do not, you miss his weekly phone call or his random phone call you miss so much all day. You find yourself wondering if he's missing you or getting upset when you go in pubic and see happy couples; because that could be you having a blast with your loved one. I do not think it ever gets easier; however I've learned being negative and not very productive will not bring my husband home faster so I've found things to help! Here are my tips on what I do to make things easier during a deployment.

• I would first recommend starting your own home based business. Why? Because you can earn money and owning a business is great for self esteem, personal growth, meeting new people and staying busy. My favorite perk? You also will be your own boss; therefore...you probably won't ever have to miss your soldier's phone calls,ask for time off during his R&R and so on! It is so nice not ever having to ask for time off to spend when he will get back from deployment,either! Here are some great work at home opportunities: www.freedomathometeam.com/davia  & www.davianewman.scentsy.us     Other ideas would be having a home daycare or maybe even something like coaching a sport you once did in highschool or volunteering at the local animal shelter...anything to stay busy!
• If you are not interested in starting a business; get a job at a military-frendly company; such as Kelly Service or Home Depot. Home Depot is awesome because they even allow you time for your soldier's R&R. How cool is that? A company that actually appreciates our lifestyle!
• Join a gym! Usually the ymca lets deployed spouses go to the gym free if your spouse is active duty of course; the only catch to the ymca in my area was that you need to attend the gym at least 8 times a month. The bases also are great places to work out and usually always for free if you are a spouse. You could also join women's only gyms. If you hate working out; try doing fitness classes like yoga! More than likely your soldier will be working out a lot overseas since they do not have much else to do...and wouldn't it be nice to both have smoking hot bodies after deployment? :) 
• Be active in your soldier's FRG. If you are a spouse, and sometimes girlfriends are allowed; see if your FRG has a facebook page or newsletter.Stay up to date and attend the meetings. You may not like the group but at least you would be doing your best to still support your soldier. Who knows?You may even meet another woman who can be a deployment buddy for you! Make sure you are mature with the FRG; never get caught up in gossip or drama. Remember you are there for more resources and to support your soldier and to get additional support. I hear many ladies have bad experiences with FRG, but it is probably due to lots of drama. Do not expect the FRG to be your sole support system; those ladies are 99% of the time other deployed spouses anyhow so often they do not have much time to offer tons of support but they usually will organize monthly newsletters, meetings, etc.   I notice some spouses are way too dependent on the FRG; don't be one of those ladies. 
• Find what you are good at! Any hobbies? Any crafts? You do have a life besides your soldier and use that to your advantage during this lonely and difficult time. Perhaps you always loved to sew or maybe you love to read! Keep a list handy of things you love to do and read over them when you feel lonely or bored
• Don't forget your girlfriends! Now; I'm not saying to go out nightly and drink your pain away, but a night out with my girlfriends are always an instant way to make me happy. At least once a month or even once every 2 weeks have a girls night. Whether its dinner and a movie; or cocktails at your favorite bar. I do not think it's bad to go to bars without your spouse; he is gone and should want you to have a life. If you do not have trust at a bar; he should not trust you to wait for him...just my opinion. Anyhow, adult interaction with your girlfriends is perfectly fine but I always say be respectful to your soldier and have a two drink maximum. Do not be the sloppy drunk married chick. If you want to drink more; stay home and just invite your girls over for a wine night or maybe you all can cook together and drink together. Do not go out and get drunk without your husband there; I think it would make any person feel quite uncomfortable...just my opinion! 
• Toys. Toys. Toys. Need I say more? Tell her D'Avia sent you! Click here
• Pre-Deployment Checklist---Use it. My Pre-Deployment Checklist Trust me; things will go wrong during the deployment....maybe your car won't start one morning or the dishwasher just mysteriously stops working...calm down. Things happen. Make sure you do check all you can before deployment however; such as things like the smoke detector, getting your oil changed on your car...prevent as much damage as you can and really let your family, friends,etc. help if they offer it. Of course do not use them or over due it but if they want to watch the children for a few hours so you can have alone time or go workout; let them. Too many ladies say they get zero support; but yet they have too much pride to know when people are being kind. 

Pre-Deployment Checklist

Here is a large deployment checklist; however during my husband's deployment all i've ever needed was a POA (power of attorney), a copy of his orders, his social security number, his address of where he would be and my military ID. Many places would ask for his social; such as when I went to use TriCare and so on. Make sure you have all of the above AT LEAST; because you never know when you may need it for bills or emergencies. I also suggest having his Family Readiness Group's information on hand in case you'd like to be involved in the meetings or annoucements they may have. Most will even have an online group such as on facebook or twitter you can stay involved in. Many FRG's are amazing support systems when your loved one is deployed and the best thing abut these groups; are they are not limited to just spouses in most cases, you will find parents, grandparents in more. Not all FRG's are very active; but you want to have their information on hand just in case you have a question and can not get in touch with your deployed spouse or significant other. Keep in mind you may not hear from him/her for days or weeks in some cases so you want to be prepared. This is a very extensive check list but better safe than sorry and you can take care of  little as a time before deployment actually starts. It seems like everything that went wrong; went wrong while my husband has been away, such as things with my car or at the apartments I lived in. One day the air conditioner stopped working; my battery went dead in my car...you never get a break in some cases :)

Family Checklist For Deployment

1. Do you know your Ombudsman's/FRG Leaders name and phone number?

2. Do you know your spouse's Social Security number?

3. Are you and your children registered in DEERS?

4. Is the emergency data page in his/her service record current and correct?

5. Is your ID card about to expire? Have you arranged for paperwork for an ID card for any child who will turn 10 years of age before the service member's return?

6. Do you understand the use of medical facilities and TRICARE.

7. Do you understand what the Ombudsman, FRG Leader, Fleet and Family Support Center, Red Cross, Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society and Chaplains can do for you and how and when to contact them?

8. Do you have emergency contact numbers posted for quick reference?

9. Have children been included in discussion on where the parent is going, when he/she is coming home and why he/she is leaving?

10. Have you reached an agreementon frequency of letter writing or communication? Do you know your spouse's complete deployed address or email address?

11. Do you, your parents and your in-laws know how to reach you and your spouse in case of an emergency?

12. Have you discussed your feelings on the deployment and your spouse's return?

13. Have you discussed your spouse's feelings on the deployment and his/her return?

14. Have you prepared a comprehensive budget and have you agreed on how much each will spend?

15. Do you have an adequate allotment? Will it cover rent, utilities, grocery needs, bills and other expenditures?

16. Are checking and savings accounts in good order?

17. Are plans made for filing taxes?

18. Have you discussed a power of attorney? Do you need a special power of attorney to sign his/her name on income tax documents or to cash a return check? (Some banks won't cash a government check without a special power of attorney-a general power of attorney won't always do.)

19. Have you and your spouse made wills? Are they kept in a convenient place?

20. Do you know the process for moving your household goods?

21. Are instructions clear on pending family business? Are potential problems identified and potential solutions agreed upon?

22. Do you know where important family documents are?

23. Are insurance policies up to date and safeguarded?

24. Have you given your home a security checkup? Do all windows lock? Do the windows open or are they painted shut? What about door locks? Have you secured the outside buildings? Do you know the combunations or have the keys for those locks? Do you have a spare set of keys for all of your locks? 

25. Do you have and know how to test a smoke/CO2 detector? Do you have and know how to operate a fire extinguisher? Is it charged and up to date?

26. Do you know what to do or who to call if something in your home breaks? (Furnace, air conditioner, heater, hot water heater, kitchen appliances, washer and dryer, plumbing.)

27. Do you know where the fuse box or circuit breakers are and ho to change or reset them?

28. Do you know where your water main shut-off valve is located?

29. Has the car's maintenance been discussed? Who will you take it to for repairs?

30. Are auto inspections up to date or instructions left for updating them?

31. Is the base vehicle decal up to date? How about your vehicle(s) registration?

32. If the service member has a separate vehicle, look into lowering insurance premiums.

33. Do you know about your command's spouse support program?

Great Military Spouse groups, websites and forums

I would like to share fabulous online military spouse groups that I've been so fortunate to be apart of. It is so nice to feel like you are not alone and we have so much fun discussing the pros and cons of military life, deployment, our soldiers and more. The groups are great and have really given me some light on many things; it is nice to meet other ladies; even if they are stationed in Germany or I find out they're local. Thank gosh for the internet! Here are some great military groups, forms and websites dedicated for the spouses; and some for the girlfriends or fiances :)


http://www.milspouse.com/     *This one is fab because they have a newsletter that I get via email approximately weekly, a forum that is somewhat active...but best of all a military spouse magazine; which is super cool because you can get it online if you're a "green gal" or you can get it via mail, of course. Really neat to know there's a magazine dedicated to us "mil spouses." One of my favorite features it Brittany Barlow's deployment diaries; I've talked to her on twitter and facebook; and thanked her so much for those weekly videos she makes, she is such a doll! Really nice to know she dedicates her time to give us some ideas, tips and comfort during deployments.

http://www.militaryspousesupport.net/     

http://www.militarysos.com/

http://cinchouse.com/Hubs/tabid/90/Default.aspx

http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2010/12/online-groups-for-military-spouses.html

https://www.militaryonesource.com/    Oldie but goodie - More of a "resource" site in my opinion.

The questions I get so much

"Oh, I just could never do what you do," "Do you miss him?" "What do you do while he's away that long,"  Some of the various questions I hate and I'm sure many other military spouses can relate. To us; this could be ignorant and even annoying questions to us. I always said I could never do this either; but it is his job, and he's not just out on vacation. He is doing something very courageous and honorable; so how could I not date, marry or love someone just because of his job. The army is really a way of life; and I do not find anything negative about what he's doing. I thought I could never do this either; but you would be surprise how strong you truly are when you have to be.  I was even asked by a very educated woman if I miss him two months ago. Wow. Of course I miss him; just like any girl would probably miss her spouse if they were gone a few days for a company trip or so..think of that; then times it by 20. That is how I feel. Not only do I have to worry about his safety, I think of the other families all over; and not just in the area he's at. I wonder what's next? Everytime I hear a knock at the door; I get paranoid thinking it's a chaplain or someone with bad news. Everytime I even go take a shower; I'm carrying my phone with me into the room in case he calls; I'd be miserable if I missed that call. And finally; what do I do while he's away. I take my husband's advice and live my life how I normally would...I hang out with friends as much as I can. I work from home with a wonderful company that can keep me busy if I let it ( I get to choose my own hours) and of course; I spend a lot of time writing him e-mails or just finding myself if that is what you'd like to call it. I dream about the future; I try to get out the house as much as possible and honestly; going places just is not as fun without him. Sometimes I even feel guilty because people may judge and think it's not very classy to go out with my girlfriends while my husband is deployed. I guess they think I should sit at home and cry. I do not go out much; but maybe once a week; even if it's just a friend's home. I think spouses really do need their friends a lot during times like this; especially when you are alone. I also have hobbies; such as modeling and working events or promotions as they come up. I do not feel like myself honestly without him here; but I do my best and that is all I can do honestly. There are good days and then there are those bad days which I have more of when I do not even want to get out of bed and I think about how much I hate this deployment stuff and how there must be a way they would not have to be away so long. Sometimes I even get dark thoughts like what would I do if something horrible happens or if that last time I kissed him or hugged him was the last time...but then I have to stop myself and realize that I'm being negative and there is no point in worrying; it will just prolong stress. I have to block out the bad stuff; and I think that is the whole moral of this story. Sure; this is hard and of course I miss him...yes I would much rather see him daily or be close to him all the time; but I play the cards I'm dealt and I'm very new to this lifestyle; it never gets easier but you learn how to cope and you really do learn what works for you in order to help you be as "normal" as you can be. It really is something you learn to live with; and you also learn to be strong, because that is your only choice.Me telling myself everyday I can not do this will not bring him home from this deployment faster; and honestly this has had pros just like cons...I've learned to be more independant and of course I've learned I'm so much stronger than I ever though :) Just what is on my mind today.

Supporting Military Businesses

Are you a military spouse or military family looking for free advertising or to just promote your business, network or get other business ideas? Then check out one of my favorite military facebook groups designed with you in mind; as a military spouse. Post your ads time-to-time and network with other military business owners!
We can now have more than one thing in common. Military, business, facebook AND networking! I love the support being a business owner and entrepreneur myself who enjoys free advertising.
https://www.facebook.com/Supporting.Military.Families

Whether you are a military spouse/family member or not; feel free to 'like' my facebook page as well and promote your business on my networking page as well: https://www.facebook.com/TheModernArmyWife

Free calls home from Gmail for all U.S. service members

Official Gmail Blog: Free calls home from Gmail for all U.S. service me...:
it’s not always easy or affordable for our troops serving overseas to calling home; nor is it cheap so this was really awesome to find online and maybe it will help some families out a tad :)