Aren't those days exciting the closer and closer it gets to spending a small amount of time with your honey; for your "break" during their deployment? It's not much of a break; but to us it means the world. Being a military spouse is one of the hardest jobs I believe; we look forward to things like this so much...we are used to sleeping alone and getting quick 5 minute phone calls. We cringe everytime there's a knock at the door; the mail man is our best friend...but before I start rambling I'd like to share my tips on how to make the best out of your significant other's R&R! First; don't be upset if he uses a lot of the time to catch up on rest. More than likely he's traveled a ton to get back to you and remember...they work 16 hour days most of the time...they don't have "weekends." Respect this is their break time and they may want to use it to catch up on a ton of rest; they work very hard. I know we probably sit at home or have normal jobs while they put their lives on the line...but your soldier deserves some rest too! It does not mean he/she loves you any less.
* Schedule a photoshoot! Oplove.org is a wonderful organization that does free photoshoots for military; I believe they must be active duty; but take advantage of this. Memories are very important and you can use the photos for your home, for photo albums, facebook, holiday cards and more. My then fiance and I did these a few days before we got married and they mean a lot to me...someone took the time to give us free photos and of course I get to look at them whenever I'm lonely!
*Do a couple's massage...spoil your soldier. They work hard for us. This also falls under the super romantic category.
*If you live together; decorate for his arrival...if you are meeting him at a hotel; you can still decorate the hotel. This is wonderful company in which you can get free welcome home banners custom made for your soldier; you just pay for the shipping. http://www.buildasign.com/Troops Not sure how long that great deal will last; but you can also use vistaprints.com banners; they are affordable...or you can make your own. Something that says Welcome Home or just anything you wish to put to show your soldier you are excited they are home for even a short amount of time...until the next "see you later." Maybe add a cake, his fave food waiting on him and balloons. You do not have to go all out; but just a little something will be fun, don't forget to add a card!
* A counseling session....even if you have the most perfect relationship; I think this is an amazing thing to do for yourselves. This will help you just release emotions and communicate! Also; going to church will be something very nice to do; to just have a spiritual bond with your partner. If you are not religious; still consider the counseling session to just work on maintaining healthy emotions and communication for the rest of your relationship and/or deployment
* Create a memory! What have you all never done together? Have you never went to a certain aquarium you've always thought about visiting? Ever rode a hot air balloon? How about rock climbing? Whatever it may be; why not do something new together! Make the most out of it!
* Plan at least one family night and one friends night! Fun things to do are dinners, amusement parks,etc. Remember there are other people missing your soldier as well! Share your soldier with other people who love and support him.
* What are his favorite colors? Get some super sexy lingerie in the color for the occassion? Have a video camera? Don't be shy...use it!
* Do nor argue! Sure; your soldier may just irritate or annoy you in the little time he's back home for a bit; but do not sweat the small stuff during this time...you will regret it as soon as he's gone again.
* There's life besides you...what does this mean? Do not become angry if he does use some time for his/her friends and you may just feel left out. Why? The wives are the ones alone....for months and months...sometimes with the kids...we lose our minds a few times...we wait and wait for these day...and they want to not spend all their time with us? Yeah; it bites. But realize it's not healthy for your soldier to only consume their lives with you; allow them to spend time with friends or even if it's on that annoying Xbox of theirs. Don't feel left out if they use some time for themselves...
* Do not spend all of your time with everyone else...what do I mean by this? Save some alone time. Do not think that your family member's have to be around nonstop; or your soldier's family member and friends have to be around 24/7. Sure; they miss him too and he misses them...but it's the two of you who have suffered enough; do not spend all of your time with everyone else. That may be hard for them to understand; especially their family but the couple should come first; especially when you are married. Save a few nights to do family outings; maybe a dinner or game night...then maybe have a night where you get all the friends together for a night on the town. Save the first and last night just for you two at least! I had a friend that hung out with me and my then; boyfriend...now husband; a night before one of his trainings for his deployment and I always regret it. I cherish every day we get together and I feel like I would have rather just had that night for just the two of us. He was gone for two months and we should've had more alone time. Lessons learned :)
Showing posts with label military family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label military family. Show all posts
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Pre-Deployment Checklist
Here is a large deployment checklist; however during my husband's deployment all i've ever needed was a POA (power of attorney), a copy of his orders, his social security number, his address of where he would be and my military ID. Many places would ask for his social; such as when I went to use TriCare and so on. Make sure you have all of the above AT LEAST; because you never know when you may need it for bills or emergencies. I also suggest having his Family Readiness Group's information on hand in case you'd like to be involved in the meetings or annoucements they may have. Most will even have an online group such as on facebook or twitter you can stay involved in. Many FRG's are amazing support systems when your loved one is deployed and the best thing abut these groups; are they are not limited to just spouses in most cases, you will find parents, grandparents in more. Not all FRG's are very active; but you want to have their information on hand just in case you have a question and can not get in touch with your deployed spouse or significant other. Keep in mind you may not hear from him/her for days or weeks in some cases so you want to be prepared. This is a very extensive check list but better safe than sorry and you can take care of little as a time before deployment actually starts. It seems like everything that went wrong; went wrong while my husband has been away, such as things with my car or at the apartments I lived in. One day the air conditioner stopped working; my battery went dead in my car...you never get a break in some cases :)
Family Checklist For Deployment
1. Do you know your Ombudsman's/FRG Leaders name and phone number?
2. Do you know your spouse's Social Security number?
3. Are you and your children registered in DEERS?
4. Is the emergency data page in his/her service record current and correct?
5. Is your ID card about to expire? Have you arranged for paperwork for an ID card for any child who will turn 10 years of age before the service member's return?
6. Do you understand the use of medical facilities and TRICARE.
7. Do you understand what the Ombudsman, FRG Leader, Fleet and Family Support Center, Red Cross, Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society and Chaplains can do for you and how and when to contact them?
8. Do you have emergency contact numbers posted for quick reference?
9. Have children been included in discussion on where the parent is going, when he/she is coming home and why he/she is leaving?
10. Have you reached an agreementon frequency of letter writing or communication? Do you know your spouse's complete deployed address or email address?
11. Do you, your parents and your in-laws know how to reach you and your spouse in case of an emergency?
12. Have you discussed your feelings on the deployment and your spouse's return?
13. Have you discussed your spouse's feelings on the deployment and his/her return?
14. Have you prepared a comprehensive budget and have you agreed on how much each will spend?
15. Do you have an adequate allotment? Will it cover rent, utilities, grocery needs, bills and other expenditures?
16. Are checking and savings accounts in good order?
17. Are plans made for filing taxes?
18. Have you discussed a power of attorney? Do you need a special power of attorney to sign his/her name on income tax documents or to cash a return check? (Some banks won't cash a government check without a special power of attorney-a general power of attorney won't always do.)
19. Have you and your spouse made wills? Are they kept in a convenient place?
20. Do you know the process for moving your household goods?
21. Are instructions clear on pending family business? Are potential problems identified and potential solutions agreed upon?
22. Do you know where important family documents are?
23. Are insurance policies up to date and safeguarded?
24. Have you given your home a security checkup? Do all windows lock? Do the windows open or are they painted shut? What about door locks? Have you secured the outside buildings? Do you know the combunations or have the keys for those locks? Do you have a spare set of keys for all of your locks?
25. Do you have and know how to test a smoke/CO2 detector? Do you have and know how to operate a fire extinguisher? Is it charged and up to date?
26. Do you know what to do or who to call if something in your home breaks? (Furnace, air conditioner, heater, hot water heater, kitchen appliances, washer and dryer, plumbing.)
27. Do you know where the fuse box or circuit breakers are and ho to change or reset them?
28. Do you know where your water main shut-off valve is located?
29. Has the car's maintenance been discussed? Who will you take it to for repairs?
30. Are auto inspections up to date or instructions left for updating them?
31. Is the base vehicle decal up to date? How about your vehicle(s) registration?
32. If the service member has a separate vehicle, look into lowering insurance premiums.
33. Do you know about your command's spouse support program?
Family Checklist For Deployment
1. Do you know your Ombudsman's/FRG Leaders name and phone number?
2. Do you know your spouse's Social Security number?
3. Are you and your children registered in DEERS?
4. Is the emergency data page in his/her service record current and correct?
5. Is your ID card about to expire? Have you arranged for paperwork for an ID card for any child who will turn 10 years of age before the service member's return?
6. Do you understand the use of medical facilities and TRICARE.
7. Do you understand what the Ombudsman, FRG Leader, Fleet and Family Support Center, Red Cross, Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society and Chaplains can do for you and how and when to contact them?
8. Do you have emergency contact numbers posted for quick reference?
9. Have children been included in discussion on where the parent is going, when he/she is coming home and why he/she is leaving?
10. Have you reached an agreementon frequency of letter writing or communication? Do you know your spouse's complete deployed address or email address?
11. Do you, your parents and your in-laws know how to reach you and your spouse in case of an emergency?
12. Have you discussed your feelings on the deployment and your spouse's return?
13. Have you discussed your spouse's feelings on the deployment and his/her return?
14. Have you prepared a comprehensive budget and have you agreed on how much each will spend?
15. Do you have an adequate allotment? Will it cover rent, utilities, grocery needs, bills and other expenditures?
16. Are checking and savings accounts in good order?
17. Are plans made for filing taxes?
18. Have you discussed a power of attorney? Do you need a special power of attorney to sign his/her name on income tax documents or to cash a return check? (Some banks won't cash a government check without a special power of attorney-a general power of attorney won't always do.)
19. Have you and your spouse made wills? Are they kept in a convenient place?
20. Do you know the process for moving your household goods?
21. Are instructions clear on pending family business? Are potential problems identified and potential solutions agreed upon?
22. Do you know where important family documents are?
23. Are insurance policies up to date and safeguarded?
24. Have you given your home a security checkup? Do all windows lock? Do the windows open or are they painted shut? What about door locks? Have you secured the outside buildings? Do you know the combunations or have the keys for those locks? Do you have a spare set of keys for all of your locks?
25. Do you have and know how to test a smoke/CO2 detector? Do you have and know how to operate a fire extinguisher? Is it charged and up to date?
26. Do you know what to do or who to call if something in your home breaks? (Furnace, air conditioner, heater, hot water heater, kitchen appliances, washer and dryer, plumbing.)
27. Do you know where the fuse box or circuit breakers are and ho to change or reset them?
28. Do you know where your water main shut-off valve is located?
29. Has the car's maintenance been discussed? Who will you take it to for repairs?
30. Are auto inspections up to date or instructions left for updating them?
31. Is the base vehicle decal up to date? How about your vehicle(s) registration?
32. If the service member has a separate vehicle, look into lowering insurance premiums.
33. Do you know about your command's spouse support program?
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Free calls home from Gmail for all U.S. service members
Official Gmail Blog: Free calls home from Gmail for all U.S. service me...:
it’s not always easy or affordable for our troops serving overseas to calling home; nor is it cheap so this was really awesome to find online and maybe it will help some families out a tad :)
it’s not always easy or affordable for our troops serving overseas to calling home; nor is it cheap so this was really awesome to find online and maybe it will help some families out a tad :)
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